*Spoiler Free* Review - "Nosferatu"
Visually stunning, darkly funny, with a star-making performance from Depp, but some sluggish pacing and too many repeated elements from its source material hold it back from greatness
You'll Enjoy This If You Enjoyed: The Witch, Crimson Peak, The Lighthouse, The Northman
Picture this: five friends, post-Christmas daze, Regal IMAX in Aliso Viejo. One of those friends proceeded to spend close to $50 on snacks (yes, for himself…you know who you are), incorporating a mix of sweets, a popcorn bigger than his head, an equally oversized soda, and a “Duo Dog” (that means chili + cheese for the uninitiated). By the third preview, his stomach was serenading the room with noises oddly similar to those of the titular vampire. Shortly after that, my lap was showered with 15-20 of his Milk Duds before the movie even began, a moment that felt like foreshadowing for the chaos that director Robert Eggers was about to unleash onscreen.
Eggers has carved out a niche as Hollywood’s twisted auteur, blending dark and often violent storytelling with his own oddball humor. Naturally, as a big fan of his work so far, my expectations were high. Add in a stacked cast (Lily-Rose Depp, Bill Skarsgård, Nicholas Hoult, and Willem Dafoe) and one of my favorite trailers of 2024, and I was ready for an afternoon of greatness.
Let’s talk about Eggers, the guy who could probably make a DMV waiting room look cinematic. From the first frame, you’re dragged into this gorgeously grim world where everything looks like it was lit by a single, very dramatic candle. The cinematography is a knockout, with eerie visuals that stick with you—especially in the first and last parts of the movie. Eggers serves up gothic vibes and shadowy goodness like a five-course feast, proving that, yes, existential dread can be kind of stunning.
Now for a bit of negativity. You know that weird, disorienting feeling when a song gets stuck on repeat, and you lose all sense of time and space? That’s unfortunately the vibe throughout the middle stretch of this film. The dream sequences, repetitive speeches, and some snail-paced scenes absent of much payoff all blur together into what can only be described as cinematic sleep paralysis. Don’t get me wrong—there are flashes of brilliance sprinkled in, but shaving off 20-30 minutes could’ve helped take this from “good” to “why isn’t this winning all the awards?”
As for the scares, Eggers leans a bit more traditional this time around. In the past, he’s been the king of the “less is more” school of horror—leaving out just enough to have you nervously filling in the blanks and wondering if you should sleep with the lights on... or just not sleep at all.
There are jump scares that land, but they’re few and far between. The real creep factor comes from the unsettling visuals and the big guy himself, Count Orlok. Played by Bill Skarsgård—Hollywood’s official ambassador for horror weirdos post-It—Orlok is equal parts grotesque and weirdly funny. His voice is like a mix between a guttural growl and your grandpa mumbling at Thanksgiving, and honestly, it deserves its own IMDb credit. The downside? He seemed underused, stuck delivering the same spooky monologues over and over instead of unleashing more of the anarchy that we are shown he is clearly capable of. Maybe if they’d swapped out some of that middle stretch for more creative Orlok madness, it would’ve hit even harder.
The cast does its thing, but let’s be real—Lily-Rose Depp is the one who really shines. She’s the heart of the film, sliding effortlessly between vulnerability and full-on powerhouse mode. By Act 3, she’s pulling off moves that are equal parts Oscar-worthy and horror meme material.
There’s one scene, easily the best in the movie for me, where she seems to have multiple personalities all at once in a way that’s genuinely unsettling. And then, in what comes off as a pure act of sorcery (and apparently no CGI), she gyrates, rolls her eyes, and uses her tongue in ways that made the entire theater exchange looks like, “...did that just happen?” Depp, of course the daughter of a Hollywood legend, has dipped her toes into smaller films and one bizarre TV series. This role was a huge challenge, but she absolutely crushed it.
Nicholas Hoult, an actor who has truly made his mark on the tail end of 2024 and forever the guy you feel bad for but can’t help but chuckle at, is once again solid as the original “cuck.” Willem Dafoe? Pure, unfiltered unhinged energy, but in a way that only he could pull off—peak Dafoe. Aaron Taylor-Johnson, though... let's just say he's more "soap opera extra" than the rumored “future Bond.” Feels like he’s giving it all he's got, but it’s coming off a bit like he's auditioning for a daytime drama.
The rest of the supporting cast? Solid, across the board and making the whole gothic circus feel that much more.. well, gothic.
Ultimately, Nosferatu is a visual feast—a gorgeous and unsettling canvas that you can’t look away from. There are definitely moments of excellence, but the pacing in the middle? Yeah, it could use a bit of a caffeine boost. Usually when people complain about pacing, I’m the one rolling my eyes. But here? I can’t get mad at those comments.
As for the story... well, if you’ve seen any version of Dracula (or, like me, you’re a certified nerd who’s a fan of the original 1922 silent Nosferatu film), then you’ll probably recognize most of what’s happening here. Eggers sticks so closely to the source material, it’s like he’s trying to make sure every single detail gets a perfect score. It’s not until the final and most effective act that he finally lets loose and injects some of his signature weirdness into the mix.
So, should you see it? Absolutely—but please do so in theaters. Watching this at home might tempt you to bail during the sloggy middle. But if you make it past that, you’re rewarded with some truly spectacular filmmaking and a lead performance from Depp that might just be career-defining.
For those of us in row H in Aliso Viejo, it was undeniably an entertaining afternoon, though we all left asking eachother the same question: how much did we actually like it?